When I Close My Eyes
by Funderly
Summary: Sequel to Jimmy Vega's Illustrious Stripping Career. James is tasked with keeping the most important woman in the galaxy safe. Shepard must fight for her freedom and honor as she stands trial for the destruction of the Alpha Relay. Each confront the importance of professionalism while facing the myriad of emotions that lie boiling just under the surface.
1. Chapter 1

This is the sequel to Jimmy Vega's Illustrious Stripping Career.

In this story, we will journey though the six months Shepard is incarcerated on Earth. This story will explore deeper emotions and motivations Shepard and Vega face as they try to figure out who they are to each other.

Thank you to PestoMonkey for being an amazing Beta goddess, and all around classy lady.

BioWare owns all Mass Effect events and characters.

* * *

"She did what?" Anderson leaned back in his chair pinching the bridge of his nose. From the comm, Admiral Hackett's gravelly voice relayed the details of Commander Shepard's latest exploits. Anderson's head swam as he listened to Admiral Hackett's report. An entire system eradicated, the Alpha Relay destroyed and 305,000 dead batarians. "And the Reapers?" He asked, reaching into his desk for his emergency bottle of brandy.

"Thwarted again for now," replied the Admiral. "This is big, Anderson. We have to do what we can to head off the worst of the repercussions. Shepard is headed to the Citadel as we speak. She insisted on getting her crew to safety before turning herself over to the Alliance. I am en route to Earth to do what I can to prepare the committee for her arrival. She will be placed under arrest as soon as she touches Earth's soil."

There was a long pause before Hackett spoke again, his voice low. "Captain, I strongly suggest you resign your position as Councilor and return to Earth as soon as possible. We have to rally the troops, so to speak. Shepard will need all the help and support we can give her if she goes to trial."

"Shouldn't I stay on and try to smooth things over with the council?" Anderson asked as he poured himself a large glass of brandy.

"Udina will have to handle them," Hackett quickly answered. "We need you in Vancouver. It's clear the committee will avoid war at all costs, and I'm afraid of how Shepard will play into that."

Anderson nearly choked on his drink at Hackett's suggestion. "You don't think that the Alliance would really turn her over to the batarians?"

"I don't know David. The committee is more than just skeptical when it comes to the Reapers. Though evidence against the Commander is still shaky, claiming she thwarted another 'imminent Reaper threat' as her only defense will not be enough to acquit her. The batarians are calling for blood. I do not want her to be used as a political bargaining tool."

"Agreed," Anderson stood and began to pace the length of his small office. "Who else knows about this?"

"Word is traveling fast. We are going to have a full-out diplomatic situation on our hands in just a few hours. Do what you can to keep Shepard from harm when she arrives on the Citadel. For her own safety, I convinced her to stay on board the _Normandy _while her crew departs."

"I bet she was thrilled with that," Anderson scoffed.

"Hardly. She doesn't seem to realize how much danger she is in. If the batarians get their hands on her before she reaches Earth, I doubt they would waste any time ordering her execution. Shepard's protection and safety are of the utmost priority. We need her if we want to stand any chance against the Reapers."

Anderson moved to stand in front of the comm's vid screen, "Understood Admiral."

"Good." The digital image of Hackett gave him a curt nod. "I'll see you on Earth then. Good luck David."

"Thank you Sir. We are going to need it."

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

Shepard leaned on the railing above the _Normandy_'s galaxy map. The dim light from the projected nebula bathed her face in an eerie glow as her fingers mindlessly manipulated the holographic display.

"How long?" she asked without looking up.

"ETA 2 hours." Joker's concerned voice sounded from the comm. "Commander?"

"Yes Joker?"

"I'm going with you to Earth," he said determinedly.

"Joker." Shepard groaned as she clenched the railing and looked up towards the cockpit.

"Anyone who is on this ship when it touches earth will be arrested. EDI is capable of piloting the _Normandy _to Earth without you." Shepard pushed off the railing and squared her shoulders. "You will disembark once we arrive on the Citadel, along with everyone else," she ordered. In a lower voice she added. "I did this alone and I will take the hit... alone."

"Bullshit!" Joker swiveled around in his chair and glared at the Commander across the bridge. "You are not alone Shepard."

As quickly as his bones would allow, he hoisted himself out of the chair and began to limp towards Shepard, pointing an accusing finger at her.

"We followed you into hell and we will follow you to Earth," he shouted. "We will fight with you and defend you, so don't push us aside."

"I am not pushing anyone aside," Shepard shot back in exasperation as she stepped down from the map. "That system is _gone _because I did what I had to do to stop the Reapers. If the Alliance wants to string me up and judge me, so be it. But I will _not _allow the rest of you to be taken down with me."

"I'm not going to abandon the _Normandy_, Commander," Joker's voice began to shake. "I'm not going to let you sacrifice yourself for everyone. Not again."

"I'm not sacrificing myself," Shepard rubbed at the growing tension in her head. Dammit! She wanted her crew _safe_. This particular fight was hers alone.

In a pleading tone, she said, "Joker, this is the way it has to be. You coming with me to Earth isn't going to change the fact that I'll have to stand trial for the deaths of over 300,000 batarians."

"I'm not leaving, Commander, and there's not a goddamn thing you can do to stop me," Joker said obstinately. He held her eyes and stood as tall as he could.

"Says the man with brittle bone disease," Shepard said crossing her arms and sinking back on her hip. Joker just stared at her. His jaw was set in a determined scowl. Shepard released a defeated sigh.

"Fine," she said throwing her hands up as she turned on her heel and stalked to the elevator. Just as the doors opened to let her in, she turned back to him and held out her own threatening finger. "But don't come whining to me when they toss your brittle ass into the brig."

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

Shepard sought the calm, blue solace of her quarters. She pulled off the top to her uniform as she trudged down the steps into her bedroom. It was her intention to catch a few minutes of sleep before the _Normandy_would dock at the Citadel, and she would have to say goodbye to her crew and friends. Her clothes from the night on Omega still lay scattered around the room. Three mornings ago she had tossed her pants and blouse haphazardly aside, hastily shedding them and dressing in a clean uniform. Professionalism had always been her forte, and she had not wanted Admiral Hackett to see her dressed in such an unprofessional way.

As she reached her bed her foot caught in the black fabric of her civilian trousers which lay on the floor. When she kicked them free from her foot a flash of blue pattern grabbed her attention. There, peeking out from the pants pocket, were James' neatly folded shorts, taunting her. Shepard suddenly remembered surreptitiously tucking them away after plucking them from Tali's helmet.

A smile spread across her lips as she bent to pick them up. Images of his tall, tan, muscular body flashed in her mind as she sank into the bed, clutching the shorts against her chest. She closed her eyes and lay back as the images and memories of their night became more clear in her mind.

The feel of his hot lips against hers filled her memory. She raised her hand to her mouth and gently touched her lips. Her memories of him were so exquisite and clear she could almost feel him. Slowly her hand slid from her lips, down her neck and chest, traveling lower past her navel. Her fingers slipped under the waist of her trousers and panties and began gently probing at the soft flesh between her thighs. Her other hand, still clinging to his blue camo dancer's shorts, teased and pinched the peaked tip of her breast. She began to pant as she slowly worked herself, her fingers gliding languidly over her sensitive, swollen nub. She imagined him hovered above her, his hazel eyes dark with smoldering desire as he thrust into her. She felt herself go slick and she dipped her digits lower, moaning as she teased at her wet folds.

"James," she whispered, increasing her pace. He was light years away and he still was driving her into ecstasy.

"Oh god," she moaned as she felt herself getting closer. She bent her knees and planted her feet on the bed. Her hips began to grind and thrust against her hand. She flicked and teased herself as the heat in her core swelled. With a choked gasp she came, crying out as her hips bucked upwards.

Her body went limp as the last wave of her climax washed over her. She lay panting and staring up through the window. The void glittered with the light of millions of stars, blinking and streaking past as the _Normandy _traveled.

Suddenly, her brow creased. She jerked her hand away from inside her pants and rolled over, burying her face into her pillow and screaming into the fluff of its downy shape.

"Fuck!" She roared as she flung her angry fists into the mattress. She pulled her knees under her and rose up, grabbing the pillow and then slamming it into the bed repeatedly as she growled and screamed. _What the hell is wrong with you! _She screamed inside her head. _You just killed 300,000 people, and you're masturbating? What the fuck are you thinking? _She flung the pillow across the room with a guttural screech. _You're sick Anna! Commander Shepard does not fucking act like this! _She clawed at the blankets until her fingers wrapped around the cotton of the camo shorts. She pulled them from the tangled sheets and gripped them between her hands. She tensed, ready to rip them apart, but her arms would not cooperate.

_You are a fucking pervert. _She said to herself as she slumped over, unable to dispose of the shameful garment. Blindly she reached over and opened the top drawer to her side table. She carefully folded the shorts and placed them as far back in the metal drawer as she could. She closed the drawer and fell over onto her side, clenching her eyes shut as her exhausted and conflicted mind continued to reprimand her. _Masturbating? Throwing temper tantrums? You're thirty-two for Christ's sake, not a teenager._

She growled as she hoisted herself out of her rumpled bed. Peeling off her remaining clothing, she stormed across the room. _Take a shower and get your head in the game woman! _The automatic door to her bathroom whooshed open. _You cannot waste your time with these fantasies Shepard._ She stepped into the shower and punched the water controls as she mentally berated herself. _Love sick_ _fool_.

She stood there scowling as the steaming hot water cascaded down her pale skin. With a frustrated sigh she slumped against the wall of the shower, her head falling back against the cold metal.

Today had not been the first time she had thought of him. She vividly remembered how his beautiful hazel eyes flashed across her memory while she fought through her sedation in the Project Base lab. It seemed like every time she closed her eyes she would see those hazel orbs gazing at her through the fog of memory. She ached for him, and she hated herself for it.

Did this distraction prevent her from finding a way to save the Bahak system? It was the only conclusion that she could accept. She clenched her eyes and banged her head against the wall. This had to stop. She had to get control. Shepard hit the shower controls and gritted her teeth as the sudden shock of icy water drove guilt, and James, out of her thoughts. She groaned and lowered her head, letting the cold water run through her hair, hiding her face. She knew there were going to be many more icy cold showers in her near future.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

Anderson exited the Presidium elevator with a swift stride, rubbing his temple. He had spent the last three hours simultaneously debriefing the council on Shepard's situation as well as ushering in Udina as humanity's new councilor. Though Udina had maintained a cool, professional demeanor during his instatement, Anderson could not help but notice the glint of greedy excitement in the man's eye as he repeated his oath of service. It was just past 1200 hours. _Shepard should be docked by now_. Anderson thought to himself as he turned the corner and was nearly trampled by a group of C-Sec officers rushing towards the elevator.

"Back up needed in Docking Bay 24!" Shouted one of the officers into his omni tool.

"Councilor Anderson," Anderson turned to see Captain Bailey running up behind him.

"It's just Captain Anderson now, Bailey."

A flash of shock crossed Bailey's features.

Anderson prodded the C-Sec commander. "Do I really have to ask what is going on, or should I just assume this has something to do with Shepard?" Anderson fell into step with the man as they followed after the group of security officers.

"Got it in one," Bailey replied. Glancing sideways at Anderson, he said, "So it's just Captain now? This day just keeps getting more and more interesting."

"What's the situation?" Anderson asked as they boarded the elevator.

"The _Normandy _docked roughly 15 minutes ago." Bailey stood facing the elevator doors, hands behind his back. "We sent extra security, but word has it that a mob has formed and things are getting out of hand."

"What the hell was she thinking coming here?" Bailey grumbled loudly, turning to look at Anderson.

"She's dropping her crew before she turns herself over to the Alliance."

"And she chose the Citadel to do that?" Bailey balked. "She had to have known that turning up here was going to cause trouble. Are the reports true, Captain?"

"Shepard is not a terrorist if that is what you are asking. As far as coming here, I don't know what her logic is. I haven't spoken with her yet, but I'm sure she has her reasons."

"For all of our sakes, I hope you're right."

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

"Commander things are getting a little rough out there." Joker's voice nervously resonated through the Tech lab.

"What's happening?" Shepard asked as she put down one of Mordin's data pads she had been reviewing.

"Well there is a _mob_, and they- Oh shit! One of them just grabbed Chakwas! Jacob is trying to help- Commander you may want to get out there, this looks bad."

"Son of a bitch." Shepard sprang into action, sprinting through the lab to the armory where she grabbed a shotgun and some concussive rounds before rushing towards the airlock.

"Commander, are you sure this is wise?" EDI's voice cut through the CIC. "If you recall, Admiral Hackett requested that you stay on board the _Normandy _while we are docked on the Citadel."

"I am aware of what Hackett said EDI!" Shepard replied as she ran through the CIC. "I can't just sit here and let the crew get torn to pieces."

She entered the air lock, loaded the gun, and checked the heat sink as the decontamination beam passed her over and the doors whooshed open.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

The majority of the crew had been able to disembark without incident. C-Sec had been alerted to the situation and had provided guard as the first wave of the Normandy's crew departed. It wasn't until the second, smaller group was attempting to clear the security checkpoint that things started to get out of hand. The mob, primarily consisting of angry batarians, struck in force, quickly overwhelming the twenty C-Sec officers assigned to bay 24. Despite security's best efforts, some of the mob had been able to break through and were currently involved in a standoff with Jacob who was doing his best to shield a disheveled Dr. Chakwas.

"Just let us pass," Jacob said through clenched teeth, his hands glowing with biotic energy.

"Not a chance, Cerberus scum!" one of the batarans shouted.

"Shepard should die!" screamed another.

"They all should! They helped her, they are just as guilty," another jeered. The mob erupted into more cries of fury and vengeance.

Anderson and Bailey approached the bay at a full run. Through the glass of the security station, Anderson could see the part of the mob that had pushed past the guard. Three C-Sec officers lay unconscious on the ground, their weapons confiscated and repurposed. Shepard stood near the doors to the _Normandy_, shotgun in hand shouting at the mob.

"Son of a bitch," muttered Bailey as they pushed their way through the crowd.

"What are those guns loaded with?" asked Anderson as he jostled through.

"Stun rounds. It won't kill, but it will knock someone out for a good while." Bailey answered.

"Let us through officer," Anderson grunted as they reached the barrier.

"I can't do that sir," replied the turian officer.

"Damn it Farvus, he is Alliance military, let him through." Bailey growled as he pushed the officer out of the way. Anderson and Bailey both sprinted towards the Normandy.

"If you want someone to blame, blame the Reapers!" Shepard shouted to the mob from the docking platform. "Let them pass, they've done nothing to hurt you!"

"My brother was on that colony! You sure as hell have done something to hurt me!" Shouted a batarian taking aim at Shepard with one of the confiscated C-Sec guns.

"Put the gun down, now!" Shouted Bailey as they approached the group. Anderson stopped a few steps back, surveying the scene.

"So you can just let her go? We demand justice! The batarians will have justice for this!" the armed batarian shouted, still pointing his gun at Shepard.

Anderson noticed movement from the shadows. Lurking in the shady corner of the landing, a thin batarian shifted nervously. While Bailey, Shepard, and the armed batarian continued to shout at each other, Anderson began to move. The thin batarian stepped back and pulled something from his waistband. Anderson ran at him, just as the gunman extended his arm, aiming his pistol straight at Shepard. Anderson lurched forward and punched the alien in the side of his head. The shot went off, zipping through the air, scorching the airlock door to the _Normandy_a mere few inches from Shepard's head. Anderson quickly incapacitated the would-be assassin, twisting his arms behind his back and planting a heavy knee into his ribs. Everyone turned to see where the bullet had come from. Bailey used the moment of distraction to butt his rifle into the shouting batarian's gut, disarming him.

"Shepard! Get back on the _Normandy_!" Anderson shouted. " Bailey, get your men in here and take care of this. Now!"

Bailey tossed him a pair of manacles before activating his omnitool. "All available C-Sec officers report to Docking Bay 24. I repeat all available officers report to Bay 24. Executor, you may want to get down here as well."

"Understood," replied Pallin, his tone heavy with exasperation.

"Excuse me for suggesting you do your job," Bailey muttered under his breath as he disengaged the heat sink from the confiscated weapon.

The extra C-Sec officers arrived quickly and were finally able to quell the mob and break it up. As ordered, Shepard had returned to the _Normandy_. She waited for Anderson in the debriefing room. Unable to keep her restless body still, she paced the length of the room, crossing and uncrossing her arms in an attempt to decide what do with herself.

She looked up as the door beeped open and Anderson entered scowling.

"What the hell are you thinking Shepard?" He glared at her as he slammed his hands down on the conference table.

"I couldn't just sit here and let my crew be torn apart," she replied calmly.

"That gunman had a clear shot at your skull. Shepard, you could have been killed out there."

"Just a day in the life, Captain," she sighed, and smiled weakly. "No different than any other day."

"But it is different now, Shepard." Anderson said with some exasperation. "When you're out there fighting for the galaxy that's one thing, but I'll be damned if I'll let some half-rate assassin take you out. The batarian government wants you dead. I've read your reports, Shepard. If what you say is true, and I believe you, then we don't have long to prepare. The Alliance needs you alive, Shepard. The galaxy needs you."

"What do you want me to do Anderson?" Shepard turned to face him, pleading. "I'm a soldier, I fight and I risk my life. It's what I do."

"You do more than that Shepard. You're more than just a finger on a trigger. People believe in you. They'll follow you and fight for what you believe in. You can negotiate better than anyone I know and you follow a hard line of right and wrong. Shepard, you are the best humanity has to offer."

Anderson paused looking at this woman on whom so much depended. Squaring his shoulders, he continued answering her question. "What do I want you to do?" Concern thickened the tone of his voice. "I want you to stay safe, and for a start, get a good night's rest. You look like hell, child. When was the last time you got a full night's sleep?"

"You mean not including being knocked out for two days on an asteroid?"

"Yes excluding that."

Shepard scoffed, "Four nights ago." _In his arms_. Shepard clenched her eyes and shook her head, attempting to keep him from creeping into her thoughts.

Anderson looked at her skeptically "You need to get your head on straight Shepard. Keep sharp. You're going to be under a lot of political fire when you get to Earth."

Anderson straightened himself, adopting a confident, relaxed, yet commanding posture.

"Now, I'm going to accompany you to Earth, and, since I outrank you, the _Normandy_will be under my command for the duration of the trip."

Shepard opened her mouth to protest, but Anderson waved a hand in dismissal. "Unofficially of course. The _Normandy_is still yours, Shepard. I just want you to get some sleep and get yourself focused. I need to talk to Hackett, and we may need to make a stop before we head to Earth."

Shepard sighed in defeat, "Yes sir. I'll just go gather my things. You may have my cabin, I'll move… somewhere else."

"That's not necessary, Commander. I want you to be comfortable."

"No, please Anderson. It's the least I can do after causing you so much trouble."

"The port observation is still equipped with Miss Goto's bed, Commander," EDI's blue sphere popped up startling Anderson. "You would likely be the most comfortable there."

"Thank you, EDI," Shepard responded

"EDI?" Anderson asked raising a questioning eyebrow.

Shepard started to answer but was interrupted by Joker, who hastily cut her off.

"EDI is the _Normandy_'s VI, Captain Anderson. She's _completely_harmless." Joker's words were rushed and nervous.

"I see," Anderson replied, clearly unconvinced. "Thank you, Mr. Moreau. Shepard, I can handle things from here. Go get some sleep."

"Yes sir," Shepard saluted the Captain, and left.

She felt sick with the mix of emotions that coursed through her. Angry that no one seemed to trust her to take care of herself. Guilty she had caused Anderson and her crew so much trouble. And ashamed she had, yet again, not been able to keep herself focused. She was seriously beginning to question her own decision-making abilities. _Maybe I do just need some sleep_. She thought as she entered her quarters. She looked around the room. _Gather my things? What things? Do I own anything here? _She pulled an empty storage crate from under her desk.

She glanced up above her desk briefly, looking at her collection of model ships. _No use for those in the brig._She looked at her desk, again nothing there worth taking.

She sighed and turned towards the bathroom. She grabbed her shampoo. Sweet smelling shampoo had always been the one indulgence she allowed herself. The large bottle of orange, vanilla, and spice scented stuff had been the first thing she had purchased on the Citadel after her awakening. She felt that having it with her during her incarceration might help her feel less trapped. She shivered at the idea.

The idea of being grounded worried her. She had never been able to stay in one location for long, and being forced to do so was making her anxious. She tossed the shampoo into the crate and crossed to her dresser. She gathered her undergarments and the few pieces of civilian clothing she owned. As she folded them into her crate she noticed the rumpled state of her bed. Images of James as she had imagined him earlier flashed across her memory. She growled and slammed the crate shut.

Stomping across the room to the bed, she yanked the sheets off, balled them up and forced them into the laundry chute. She quickly replaced the bedding with clean sheets and blankets, tucking the linens under with practiced military precision.

She stepped back and looked around the room. _This is it, _She thought, _time to face the music. _She turned and walked back to her crate, latched it, and hoisted it up under her arm. Punching the fish feeder on her fish tank, she strode towards the door. It beeped and opened, but she stopped and froze for a moment before turning around and hastily stalking back to her bedside table. Opening the top drawer and reaching back into its depths, she pulled out the camo shorts and tucked them into her pocket. She pushed the drawer closed and walked out of the room without looking back.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

"That close?" Hackett asked through the comm.

"Yes sir," Anderson answered. "She was unarmored and he almost had her."

"Well, good work, Anderson. If it weren't for you... well I don't even want to think about that possibility. She was lucky you were watching out for her."

"Thank you sir. Admiral, this situation has made it clear to me that she needs more protection around her. She needs a bodyguard."

"I agree one hundred percent Anderson. Do you have anyone in mind?"

"As a matter of fact I do. I started looking into this possibility as soon as I heard. A few weeks ago the name Lieutenant James Vega came across my desk. He was the sole survivor from his squad on Fehl Prime."

"Sounds familiar." The Admiral said thoughtfully.

"Indeed." Anderson affirmed. "Lt. Vega retrieved some impressive data on the collectors that could have been used to destroy them. He risked everything to get that data and succeeded. He has top ranks in hand to hand as well as advanced weaponry. He seems as brutal as he is loyal. A damn good soldier from the looks of it."

"Do you think he is trustworthy? The fact that Shepard rendered his intel. unnecessary could cause a rift in his conscience."

Anderson sighed. "I would be able to answer that better if I could find him. He went AWOL just over a month ago."

The Admiral scoffed. "This is the man you want guarding Shepard?"

"Admiral, I have a feeling that he is the perfect man for the job."

The Admiral was silent for a moment and then said quickly, "Okay David, I'll have to trust you. I will do what I can to dig up his location. I'll send whatever I can when I find it. Keep me posted."

"Yes sir, thank you sir."

"Hackett out."

* * *

Due to some turmoil I had with character development I have started this: funderlysfanfiction dot tumblr dot com This is a blog where I will post some explanations and motivations on character and story development. This allows me some catharsis as I work things out, but if anyone wants to read it, that would be cool too. Also its a place I can take questions if anyone has them.


	2. Chapter 2

So many wonderful people favorite-ing and subscribing. Reviews make my writing world go 'round.

If you are interested, I have a tumbler dedicated to my writing. (I also want to show off the awesome James shaped pendant I got today.) Link in my profile.

BioWare owns the Mass Effect Universe and all characters. Some of the dialogue used in this piece, comes from the comic Conviction, written by Mac Walters.

Thank you to PestoMonkey, the Beta Wonder Woman!

* * *

"_Vega! There are too many of them! We gotta fall back!"_

_"Go find Toni! Help him get those colonists to safety!"_

_"What are you going to do?"_

_"I'm going up there, see what these bastards are all about."_

_"You're crazy man! That's suicide!"_

_"Loco all the way, pendejo! Now go!" James braced himself against the side of the prefab and watched as the rest of the squad fell back towards the center of town. It's all you Jimmy, he said to himself. Let's do it! _

_He ducked out from his cover, quickly taking down three collectors in his path. He lobbed a grenade off to this right, landing it in a patch of husks, decimating them in a flash of carnage. He pressed on, ducking behind what cover he could find, working his way towards the towering collector ship. He could feel the heat of the particle beams as they blasted past his body, but with each rat-tat-tat of his assault rifle more of the collectors fell, leaving a clear path to the ship._

_Ducking under the belly of the ship, James hoisted himself up through an open hatch and began moving through the dark passageways. He muttered to himself as he shone his torch around the walls. _

_"Holy shit! What the hell is all this?" He activated the recording device on his omni tool and scanned the rooms and halls filled with pods. He continued on into the ship until he found a console. Though tech was not his greatest strength, every competent soldier knew how to download a basic data archive._

_"Come on, come on, hurry up," he growled as he waited for the download to complete._

_"What's your rush soldier?" said a sultry voice from behind him. He turned with a snap of his head and crouched for attack. There was Commander Shepard standing a few feet away, beautiful, radiant, and powerful._

_"Commander, I have to get this intel! We have to destroy the collectors!"_

_"I already did pendejo," she purred as she sauntered towards him. "You're wasting your time. Your team is dying, Captain Toni is already dead and you're here on a pointless mission," she taunted, her blue eyes blazing in the low light._

_"They're dying? Shit, we have to help them!" He shouted as he tried to run past her, but she reached out and grabbed him, pulling him hard against her body._

_"Forget them James." She wound her limbs about him and breathed into his ear. "I want you. Now."_

_"Here?" James looked at her and his voice cracked._

_"Yes right here, right now," she sighed as she smiled and with her free hand seized the back of his neck, slowly pulling him down to kiss her. James held her fiery gaze as he lowered his mouth to hers, but just as their lips were about to touch he looked up, over her shoulder. Standing at the far side of the room was one solitary collector. He took aim and fired, hitting Shepard in the back with its particle beam. James stared in horror as her face cracked into a soundless scream and her body burned away in his arms._

James gasped and jerked upright, sweating and panting. He was in his bed, he had been dreaming again. It had been this way the past few mornings. James' dreams would shift from that last mission on Fehl Prime into torrid moments of passion with the Commander. All of them ending in some horrible hellish incident that James would be helpless to stop. How many times in the last four mornings had James watched them all die? He pinched the bridge of his nose, squinting his eyes. It was always the same. The dreams would repeat and morph through the night. While scenarios would vary and differ, the dreams would always end the same – with the team dying somewhere, unseen and unreachable.

They had been getting worse, too. Ever since the news broke of what had happened in the Bahak system, he had been plagued with images of Shepard. In the dreams she would come to him in a blaze of passion and glory only to be slaughtered in one morbid way or another. And James would be helpless to prevent it, screaming and fighting impotently against the fog of dream sleep. Everything would become terribly vivid and horrible just as James would wake in a fit of fear and adrenaline, sometimes calling out into the darkness a warning that would never be heard by the dream's doomed victims.

James growled as he swung out of bed and began warming up for his morning workout. He wouldn't let this get the best of him. He had tried at first to just drink away the pain, but memories of his pathetic wasted father had kept him from falling over the edge. He would not allow himself to become that, though he was beginning to understand now how the loss of a woman could break a man so completely. _You didn't lose her, she lost you_. He said to himself. _It was a fling. Be happy with that and let it go. _But he couldn't just let her go. It seemed as if every time he closed his eyes he would see hers, blue and blazing with fiery passion, searching his soul for the answer to some unspoken question.

James growled in frustration. _She has more important things to worry about than you_…_like destroying an entire star system?_James shook his head. He didn't understand it, but he knew she wasn't a terrorist. There must have been a damn good reason for her to destroy that relay. He may not have been acquainted with Commander Shepard the soldier, but he felt that he knew at least a little of the woman. Regardless of how ridiculous it sounded, he trusted her judgment.

James dropped to the floor to begin the first set of morning push-ups. He pushed himself much harder these days. More reps…more intensity…faster, faster, until he was sweating and exhausted as if the burn in his muscles could burn it all from his mind. He had worked hard to become the man he wanted to be – a man who would do whatever it takes. How much had he sacrificed in the name of becoming a better soldier? _Then why are you here? Why did you run?_ That soldier asked quietly from somewhere deep inside. _I haven't given up. I'll prove myself again. I just need… some time. _He said to himself, unsure how much time it would take for it all to seem right.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

"Your man wasn't easy to find Anderson. I had to call in a favor from a less than savory contact in order to dig this up." Hackett's voice sounded skeptical.

"Omega, huh?" Anderson paused and rubbed at the short stubble on his chin. Looking over to his navigator he said, "Mr. Moreau, set a course for Omega right away."

"Omega?" Joker's voice sounded shaken and slightly confused. "Aye, aye sir. ETA three hours," he answered obediently.

"Thank you." Anderson turned to face the comm and asked, "How are things on Earth Admiral?"

"Tense, to say the least." Hackett shook his head in concern. "The committee is restless. Apparently the batarian government has been hounding them to turn Shepherd over to their officials. Word is they're sending a representative to negotiate. This is just the sort of thing I was worried about."

"Hopefully this will be a short trip." Anderson stood facing the comm with his hands behind his back, a look of confident determination on his face. I will do everything in my power to get Shepard to Earth soon."

"Good," replied Hackett. "I'm sending you some back-up. Two Alliance soldiers will meet you on Omega." After a pause, he added, "You may need some assistance convincing our young Lieutenant to come back. We don't need this situation turning any more volatile. You would also be better off having a few more armed guards around her when she transfers here."

"That is probably wise," Anderson replied as he paced restlessly in front of the comm "Again, thank you for all your help, Admiral."

"No need to thank me Anderson. We are all on the same team here. I trust you David. Do what you have to do. Get Shepard to Earth."

"Understood Admiral, Anderson Out."

The comm blipped off. Anderson paced, rubbing his chin as he sorted through his thoughts. Three hours until Omega, then another five and they would be on Earth. Eight hours and the savior of the Citadel, and the galaxy's greatest defender, would be locked up and put on trial for doing her job. He sighed and sank into the chair as he thought about what Shepard must be feeling. He couldn't remember the last time she had been planet-side for an extended time. Probably not since N7 training. And now she's grounded, all because she made the tough choice. The right choice. Morosely he thought, _The Reapers are coming, and Earth is not ready. The galaxy is not ready. And we are locking up our best asset. _Suddenly he was seized with anger. "God damn it," he spat as he slammed his hand on the armrest. "Computer… err… EDI? Where is the Commander?"

"Commander Shepard is currently located in the port side observation lounge. She is sleeping, as per your orders Captain. Shall I wake her?"

"No, that isn't necessary," Anderson sighed as he loosened the collar on his uniform. "Let her sleep, she needs it."

"Yes Captain."

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

"EDI?" Jeff asked raising a quizzical eyebrow at the blue sphere to his left. "Why are the blinders to the port observation are being closed remotely?"

"I do not wish to disturb the Commander as we dock on Omega," EDI smoothly replied. "The Captain wishes for her to rest and I fear if she became aware of our destination, it would cause… some disturbance."

"You _fear_?" Joker asked skeptically. EDI remained quiet, as her blue orb blinked. "You are getting sneaky," he smirked. He added in a hushed tone, "I kinda like it."

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

James looked from the cards in his hand to his growing pile of credit chips. He was up, way up, more so than he had been in days. He took a sip from his beer and carefully considered the group around him. His fellow players today consisted of three batarians and a drell. The drell had been quiet, saying very little over the last hour they had been playing. The batarians, on the other hand, were becoming increasingly tense with each of James' winning hands. It was obvious that these batarians labored under the assumption that humans in general did not possess the ability to read the subtle facial and body cues used in batarian society. James, being the avid card player he was, had learned early on the tells of all manner of species.

James thumbed through his cards, arranging them in the proper order to show his full house. It was his turn to bet, but as he pondered what wager to make and how to play his hand, his thoughts were interrupted when he heard the name "Commander Shepard" coming from the TV mounted behind the bar.

_"While the Citadel council scrambles to denounce the so-called terrorist acts allegedly carried about by Commander Shepard, batarian officials are demanding retribution_." The newscaster's voice resonated through the tiny bar. James looked up from his cards and scowled at the TV. _"Councilor Udina has publicly denied that the human Alliance had anything to do with the destruction of the mass relay_."

_Is that the best you can do Udina?_James could feel the anger well up inside of him. He dropped his cards and stood, his chair falling with a clang behind him.

"It's your bet, _human_," spat the batarian to his left. The alien glared at him accusingly as James stalked across the room towards the TV.

James stood in front of the TV, glaring at the screen. "_Batarian leaders are calling for Shepards head-"_

James reached out and placed his massive hands on either side of the screen.

_Zzssat! _Electric sparks surged as James ripped the screen from its mounting in one swift yank. Ignoring the surprised murmurs and gasps around him, he placed the screen carefully on the bar top, and turned around to walk back to his card game.

"That's gonna cost you, kid," barked the krogan barkeep.

"Take my winnings," James said flatly and gestured to his large pile of credit chips. "That should more than cover it." James punched in the transfer of funds on his omni tool. "Keep the extra, as long as I don't have to listen to that bullshit."

The krogan shrugged as he accepted James' credits. James looked up towards the poker table as he heard the sound of several chairs scraping backwards. All three batarians were on their feet, glaring daggers at James from six pairs of eyes.

"You don't think the batarians deserve payback?" one of them shouted.

"Yeah," another one jeered. "You a Shepard lover, _human?_"

James bristled at the accusation. The red hot heat of his rage was becoming harder to contain. "Why don't we all just sit down and finish our game," James did his best to keep his voice calm and even, but the threatening point of his finger as he gestured to the table gave him away.

"Why don't you go to hell," the first batarian yelled as he charged at James, hands balled into angry fists. Just as the alien was within striking range, James reached behind him and grabbed the TV screen. He whirled around, bashing the screen into the batarian's face and sending him reeling. The alien growled as he wiped away the blood streaming from his nose and mouth. His eyes narrowed as he pulled a knife from his waist and lunged at James again.

James blocked the attack, forcing the batarian to stab into the screen still clutched in his grip. The blade struck deep into the plastic screen. The sharp curve of its tip projecting several inches through the back. James rebounded and bashed the screen into his attacker's skull, before swinging it around into the batarian's chest, impaling the knife's tip between the plates of the alien's armor. The batarian groaned and slumped to his knees, blood pouring from his mouth and down his chest.

"Alliance scum. You're all the same. You think you're so much better than us," roared one of the other batarians. James spun around.

"Well better looking for sure," he taunted as he clenched his fists and readied himself for the fight. Other batarian's from the bar were closing in. This was not going to end peacefully. He was being surrounded. James squeezed his fists tighter, cracking his knuckles. Six, he noted mentally. _Nothing I can't handle,_he said to himself as he rolled his shoulders and honed in on a target.

"We'll see how you look after we-"

With a guttural yell James leapt forward, tackling the largest of the batarians around the waist. James hit with so much force that together he and the alien shot backwards, crashing through the glass wall of the bar. James held on as they fell the length of a story before landing with a thud in the courtyard below, glass and metal falling around them. James' arm pressed hard against the batarian's neck. He groaned and reached up to wrap his fingers around James' neck. James reared his fist and punched the alien solidly, knocking him out.

"Shit," James muttered as he spat out blood. Looking up, he saw that the batarians were not giving up and were on the move.

"Get him!" they shouted as they clamored down to continue the fight.

James gritted his teeth as he rose to his feet and readied himself. Two batarians burst through the courtyard and rushed at him. James dodged one and delivered a solid punch to the other.

"You boys just don't know when to give up," James taunted as two more batarians rushed the courtyard.

"Now!" one of them shouted as he grabbed James behind his back.

James was acting on instinct now. One lunged at him with a knife, only to receive a kick to the head from James' large boot. James twisted his weight and ducked as a punch flew at his head, landing instead on the alien holding him, forcing him to release his grip on James' arms. James dodged another knife as it swung inches from his neck. He headbutted the assailant, sending the alien crashing to the ground, blood gushing from its eyes. He was grabbed again, but shifted his weight and easily threw his opponent over his body to the ground. With rage in his eyes James kneeled over the fallen batarian and began to pound him with his huge fists.

"You don't fuck with me, and you don't fuck with Shepard," James growled as he landed one blow after another on the batarian's skull. "You're goddamn right I'm a Shepard lover! You are not going to fucking touch her! None of you ugly bastards are."

The batarian screamed in agony. James continued to pound him, completely unaware of the group of humans walking up behind him. It wasn't until the sound of the gun and the heat of the bullet zipping past his shoulder did James break from his rage filled carnage.

"Enough," shouted Anderson.

James turned his torso and looked up at Anderson, confusion in his rage glazed eyes and on his bloodied face. Anderson held a smoking assault rifle as he glared down at James. Two armed Alliance soldiers flanked him, their expressions unreadable behind their combat helmets.

"Lieutenant James Vega. You're a hard man to find."

"Captain Anderson?" James blinked away the fog of rage.

"Dust yourself off and follow me," Anderson commanded, glancing swiftly over the scene of destruction. "That's an order," he firmly added.

James rose and fell into step behind the Captain, pressing his hand to his head in an attempt to staunch some of the bleeding.

"Where are we going?" asked James as they neared a transport vehicle.

"I'm taking you back to Earth," Anderson stated sternly. "Do you have a uniform and dress blues, soldier?"

"Um, yes sir," James fumbled with his words. "Back at my apartment."

"Give this man the coordinates to your apartment and he will retrieve them." Anderson nodded to the soldier on his right. James stared blankly at the man for a moment before tapping his omnitool and sending the location.

"Everything is in my rucksack under the bed," James muttered. The soldier nodded and departed, turning towards the transport hub.

James looked back at Anderson. None of this seemed real. James' mind reeled with questions. Why was he here? How did Captain Anderson know who he was? Was he going to be thrown into the brig?

"Why…," was all he was able to get out.

"It's time you got over the incident of Fehl," snapped Anderson as he as he climbed into the transport. Looking back at James he said, "Time for you to be the soldier we expect you to be."

"No disrespect sir, but I would rather not _get over_it." James stood outside of the vehicle, unable to bring himself to get in.

"You're a damn fool if you think I'm going to let a soldier as good as you piss your life away in this shithole," Anderson interrupted, leaning forward in his seat and looking James in the eye. "You're coming to Earth with me _now_," he said as he leaned back and pointed to the seat across from him. "Now hurry up, we don't have a lot of time to waste."

James didn't know why, maybe it was the years of military training, but he obeyed and got into the transport, folding himself into the seat Anderson had indicated. The armed soldier crossed to the front of the transport and took position in the driver's seat. They sat in silence for awhile as the transport flew through the Omega air space. James could tell they were headed in the direction of the docks where he guessed an Alliance ship waited to take them back to Earth.

"We have a job for you Lieutenant," Anderson said as he pulled a data pad from his pocket and tapped it. "Something you haven't had before."

"Captain, you should just throw me into the goddamn brig and be done with it," James' voice boomed through the interior of the vehicle, causing the soldier driving to twitch.

Anderson's lips curled into a slight smile. "You're not far off Lieutenant. You will be guarding the brig," he said calmly as he handed the data pad to James. "You will be guarding one prisoner in particular."

James didn't look at the datapad because at that moment the shuttle cleared the dock entrance and through the window he could see the only ship docked in the bay. The _Normandy _sat waiting for them, and on board the one person he knew Anderson was referring to.

"Commander Shepard." James swallowed the lump in his throat, "You want me to guard Commander Shepard?"

"More than guard her, son. Protect her." Anderson withdrew the datapad as he studied James carefully. "You will be her bodyguard, and prison guard. Your sole mission is to keep her alive and out of harm… at all costs."

James couldn't think straight. Was this really happening? He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Why me?" he asked in a low, pained voice.

"You are the right man for the job. I hand selected you for this mission-"

James erupted in a fit of anger. "I let my squad die!" He shouted, "And you want me to keep her _safe_? What the hell kind of logic is that?"

"You did the right thing for your mission Lieutenant," Anderson cut through James' tirade. "I read the report on Fehl Mr. Vega, you knew what you had to do and you did it _without_any hesitation." Anderson paused as the transport touched down and the soldier in the driver's seat cut the engine and exited the vehicle, leaving the two men alone. Anderson settled back in his seat, relaxing his shoulders and lowering his voice. "We need a man like you to do this Lieutenant. I didn't select you based on your service record alone." Anderson paused, as he glanced through the window. "Your ability to 'fall off the map' may come in useful as well."

"Why would I need to-" James began to ask.

Anderson held out a hand, cutting him off. "I'll explain everything once we're on board. That is to say, if you agree to this mission." Anderson crossed his arms and waited for James to respond.

James turned his head and looked through the window at the _Normandy_. Through a few layers of metal and glass sat Commander Shepard – literally the woman of his dreams. How often has he secretly wished to see her again? How many reunions had his mind conjured up over the past four days? He never would have imagined it would be like this. He never imagined he would be tasked with protecting her. Suddenly something primal and possessive flared in his chest, and he realized that in fact he _was _the perfect man for this job. Even if it wasn't for the reasons Anderson mentioned.

"Does she know?" He asked without looking at Anderson.

"No." Anderson chuckled. "She doesn't know. Are you accepting?"

James sighed and closed his eyes. The features on his face turned to stone as he pushed his fear and doubt aside, letting the soldier in him take over.

James opened his eyes and gazed steadily at Anderson. "Yes sir, I will guard and protect her at all costs. You can count on me."

* * *

So, as I send this out into the internet wilds, I am literally walking out the door to an audition. What does that mean? Well, if I get cast, yay great for me! Maybe not so great for the fic :(

I really don't know how much attention I will be able to give this. Nothing may change at all. Best case scenario, I will be able to do both. Or I may get horribly sidetracked and...lose interest in Jimmy...I know, I'm horrible.

I don't want to abandon it by any means, but updates may be really really slow. I'm sorry.


	3. Chapter 3

"Mr. Moreau, set a course for Earth," ordered Anderson as he and James crossed the threshold from the airlock to the bridge. Joker swiveled his chair to face them as Anderson spoke, his eyes going wide as he gazed at James' blood splattered shirt. EDI's blue orb popped into view as they turned to face the cockpit.

"We're waiting for one soldier who will be returning from the wards shortly. Please be prepared to leave as soon as he's onboard." Anderson paused as he noticed Joker's shocked expression. "This is Lieutenant James Vega. He will be Commander Shepard's bodyguard while she is…on Earth. Lt. Vega, this is Flight Lieutenant Moreau."

James gave a stiff nod to the Flight Lieutenant who was unabashedly running his eyes over James' hulking figure.

"Bodyguard?" Joker laughed as he spoke. "Oh man, you are going to have one hell of a time getting her to agree to that one!"

Anderson crossed his arms behind his back giving him a stern look.

"Sir, I mean," Joker coughed. "Welcome aboard Lieutenant," he said in a low tone before turning back to the cockpit controls and busying himself with keying in Earth's coordinates.

With a nod of his head, Anderson indicated for James to follow him. The two men walked across the deserted CIC and disappeared through the Armory doors.

"So that's what it looks like when you cross a human with a krogan." Joker muttered as watched them over his shoulder.

"That is impossible Jeff," EDI chimed. "Krogan and human genetics are not compatible."

"I know EDI, it was a joke." Joker shook his head. "There is something really familiar about him though."

"Lieutenant Vega was present during the crew's party on Omega. He–"

"Wait!" Joker turned his head sharply to stare at EDI's projected sphere. "Is he? Not the… the stripper!" Joker leaned back in his chair and covered his face as he chuckled darkly. "Oh shit," he gasped. "Tell me this gets better!" He uncovered his face and looked at EDI with wide mirthful eyes. "Is he the one Shepard snuck off with that night?"

EDI's blue orb flickerd and replied in a flat glassy tone, "Shepard and the Lieutenant have been previously _acquainted_. I have no further details. Shepard requested that I not access her omni tool after she departed the club."

"Ha, and I'm _sure_ you did as you were told. Face it EDI you and I both know that you know all the _details_ of the Commander's night." Joker turned from the blue orb and began pulling up the _Normandy's_ live security feeds. "Now where are they? I am _not_missing this reunion."

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

James followed Anderson into the comm. room. Once the doors were closed tight behind them Anderson turned and addressed James. Son, it's no small task you've been assigned to here."

"I know sir," James replied in a strict military tone.

"As far as the galactic community is concerned, Commander Shepard is a terrorist who has committed a violent act of mass murder. But the destruction of the Alpha relay prevented the immediate arrival of the Reapers."

James was unable to hide his shocked expression as Anderson explained the situation.

"Yes, the Reapers are real, and they are coming. There's no doubt of that now. We just don't know when they will be here. Shepard is the _only one_who can stop them. We have to keep her alive if any of us are going to stand a chance. " Anderson lowered his tone as he spoke. "There has already been one attempt on her life, which I was luckily able to thwart. But many more want her dead and we can't let that happen."

Anderson began to pace as he briefed James on what to expect. "We're going to Earth where she will formally turn herself over to the Alliance. Our arrival will most likely be a highly publicized event. There are likely to be reporters from all areas of council space waiting for us to arrive. The scene may be chaotic, you will need to be vigilant from the beginning, watch every corner and examine every shadow. Don't let anyone get too close to her." He paused and looked around the room. "The second part of your job I'll explain in further detail later." Anderson took a step towards James and lowered his voice. "But I will tell you this. There may come a time when she will no longer be safe in Alliance custody." James' eyes widened as Anderson spoke. "It will be up to you, Lieutenant, to get her the hell out of there."

James was quiet as the information sank in. He could see where the Captain was going with this. Shepard was in danger of becoming a victim of political bargaining. He squared his shoulders and stood taller as he replied, "I understand sir, you can count on me."

"I had a feeling I could," replied Anderson confidently, giving James a pleased smile. He opened his mouth to speak again but was interrupted as the doors beeped open. The soldier Anderson had sent to retrieve James' rucksack stood in the door frame with the bag slung over his shoulder. Almost simultaneously they heard the hydraulic docking clamps release and felt the _Normandy_shift as Joker piloted them away from Omega's docking bay.

"Thank you private," Anderson said as he picked up a data pad from the table in front of him. He strode over to the Private and took the bag from him. "I would like for you to join Private Brandon in taking inventory of the armory." Anderson handed the soldier the data pad. "There are lots of interesting Cerberus weapons in there. I'm sure the Alliance would like to study them."

"Yes sir," replied the soldier, saluting briskly. He then turned and walked quickly to the armory entrance. The doors immediately whooshed open and then beeped closed behind him.

Anderson handed James his bag and, giving him a smile of encouragement, he said, "Come on, I'll show you where the crew's quarters and the showers are. You need to clean up before I introduce you to the Commander." The two men walked out of the comm. room and through the tech lab. They felt the slight shift as the Normandy lurched into FTL drive. Anderson glanced sideways at James and muttered, "I'm afraid our Flight Lieutenant is correct in his assumption that the Commander may be…less than enthusiastic towards the idea of needing a body guard."

James chuckled darkly. _You have no idea_. He thought to himself as they boarded the elevator. The short ride to deck two was spent in silence. Each man lost in his own thoughts. Both were undoubtedly thinking about the same Commander Shepard, but undoubtedly in very different ways.

Anderson directed James towards the men's lavatory after showing him the crew quarters.

"I'm going to speak with her first," Anderson said as rubbed his chin. "Maybe I can ease her into the idea before she meets you," he said more to himself than to James. "Go clean up. I'll speak with her here in the mess," Anderson pointed his thumb over his shoulder at the long table the crew used for meals. "Just come out here when you're presentable."

"Yes sir," James said as he gave Anderson a salute.

"Dismissed," Anderson said with a nod.

James immediately turned and walked into the men's lavatory. Kinda small for a ship this size, he thought as he slung his bag onto the counter next to the room's one sink. He looked at himself in the mirror and laughed sardonically. He had a sizable gash over his left eye and several angry looking cuts running down his arms._ You look like you have been in a bar fight pendejo. _He quickly shed his clothes and reached into his rucksack. He fished inside and grabbed a small bag containing his razor, shaving cream, soap, and a small tube of medi gel.

Pulling the soap from the bag he walked over to the shower and adjusted the controls. Once the water had warmed to a comfortable temperature, he positioned himself under the spout and relaxed as the warm water washed over him. He leaned forward, bracing one arm against the wall and tilting his head down. He watched the blood tinged water cascade down his legs and disappear as it swirled down the drain. _This is loco_, he thought to himself as he began to lather the soap and wash himself off. _She will never agree to this_. She would probably oust him on the spot by informing Anderson of their tryst, and thus proving James was ill-suited for the job. Or what if she didn't? What if she was actually happy to see him?

Images of a secret sexy reunion flooded his mind. He imagined her sparkling eyes and coy smile as she would pull him into some shadowy corner of the ship in order to better show her appreciation. James groaned as he felt his body react in the way it always did when he imagined her. He glanced down as his already erect cock.

"What the hell do _you_want pendejo?" he growled.

_You're an idiot, James._ He scolded himself. _You're twenty-eight for fuck's sake, not a horny teenager. Get it together_. With an angry jab, he killed the hot water and sucked in a hissing breath as the now icy stream hit his skin. _You have a job to do. Anderson handpicked you. You can't fail, this is too important_. _You are going in there to meet Commander Shepard, not Anna. _James stood straight. He could do this. He was an Alliance marine. The mission comes first, nothing else matters. And with a cold determination James shut out his feelings.

Shepard opened her eyes as she felt the strange pull in her stomach that usually accompanied a jump through a mass relay. She remembered Anderson telling her that they were making a stop before heading to Earth. _Where are we_? She wondered as she stretched her arms over her head and yawned. She was feeling much better. Seems Anderson was right. All she really needed was a good night's sleep. Kasumi's bed was exceptionally comfortable and Shepard had found it easy to slip into a deep sleep surrounded by the warm, fluffy blankets.

"EDI, what's our ETA?" She asked as she sat up and leaned her head back against the wall, closing her still sleep-heavy eyes.

"Estimated time of arrival on Earth is six hours fifty-two minutes Commander," EDI responded in her clear, glassy tone. "Captain Anderson would like to speak to you. He is currently in the Mess Hall."

"Thank you EDI. Tell him I'll be out in just a moment."

"Yes, Commander."

Shepard pulled the covers back and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She yawned again and arched her back before rising to her feet and shuffling over to the long sofa to retrieve her uniform. She dressed quickly and ran a brush through her hair, opting to leave it in a low pony tail rather than go through the trouble of pinning it up in her typical bun. Anderson of all people could deal with her having her hair down.

She walked briskly out of room, the automated doors opening and closing behind her with a whoosh. She halted briefly as she heard the sound of running water coming from the men's lavatory. Who the hell is in there? It can't be Joker. We just cleared a relay he would undoubtedly still be at his station. She was about to inquire who was in there when Anderson's voice came from around the corner in the Mess.

"Over here Shepard," Anderson called from the long dining table. Shepard crossed the short distance to the mess, casting a glance backwards before meeting Anderson's gaze.

"Who's in there?" She asked, nodding over her shoulder towards the lavatory.

The corner of Anderson's lips curled into a wry smile. "Your bodyguard," he responded flatly.

Shepard froze. "Excuse me sir, did I hear you correctly?" Shepard stared at him incredulously. "Did you just say my _bodyguard_?"

"Yes. Now have a seat and try to not be a smart ass while I explain." Anderson gestured to the empty seat across from him, where a steaming cup of coffee sat waiting for her. She stood there for a moment, shifting her weight. She opened and closed her mouth, unable to come up with anything to say. She let out a frustrated sigh as she narrowed her eyes, stalked over to the table, and sat down. She wrapped her fingers around the cup and leaned back shaking her head before raising the cup to her mouth and taking a sip.

"I don't need a bodyguard," she muttered from behind the cup.

"Yes you do," Anderson replied sharply. "Care to remember how close that bullet came to your skull back on the Citadel?" Anderson leaned forward, his arms resting on the table as he spoke. "You aren't just dodging mercs and geth anymore Shepard. Everywhere you go, you're going to be in danger."

Shepard sat up straight and opened her mouth to protest but Anderson's sharp glare stopped her. He cleared his throat before resuming his speech. "The batarian government has publicly demanded your life. Even on Earth things will be… sketchy. Cerberus isn't just going to sit back and be happy that their prize ship is in the hands of the Alliance. I think we can safely bet that they will send their own agents, and Cerberus assassins are going to be harder to spot than that poor excuse for a batarian assassin."

Shepard cracked a sardonic smile and shook her head. "Do I get any say in this?" she asked before taking another sip of her coffee.

"No. I'm sorry Shepard." Anderson leaned back in his chair and took of a sip from his own cup. "I think you'll be impressed with the Lieutenant. He has top ranking in hand to hand combat as well as advanced weaponry. He's loyal, dedicated, and tough."

"Is this a soldier we are talking about here, or a varren?" Shepard asked as she cocked an eyebrow and rested her arms on the table.

Anderson tried to sound stern, but couldn't hide the amusement in his voice. "I thought I told you to _can_the smart ass."

Shepard raised a hand in apology, "I'm sorry. By all means continue," She said as she raised her coffee to her lips. "Please tell me more."

Anderson shook his head at her. "You never make things easy, do you?" Shepard just shrugged and smiled at him in mock innocence. Sighing, he continued. "He's a man I feel we can trust, Shepard. I see in him the same potential I saw in you when we first met. What's more, he understands the breadth of the situation and is willing to do whatever it takes to keep you safe."

"Even if it means taking a bullet for me," Shepard stated dryly. She knew what it was he was instructed to do and it didn't sit well with her.

Anderson gave a soft nod of his head. "I wish there was something I could do to change the circumstances but, as things stand, I suspect you're going to be grounded for a while." He paused when he saw Shepard flinch, and her expression go dark. He leaned forward, and placed a comforting hand on her wrist. "I know this can't be easy for you–"

"Don't try to comfort me Anderson," she spat as she pulled her wrist away. "I've been doing just fine taking care of myself for over 14 years. I survived N7 training, saved the Citadel from Sovereign and, oh, thwarted _several_Reaper invasions." She slammed her cup on the table sloshing the brown liquid over the side.

"Hell, I apparently even came back from the dead. But apparently everyone I trust seems to think I've lost the ability to take care of myself. And now you're expecting some stranger to put his life on the line for me."

She stood up and began pacing in front of the table. "I have spent the last few years of my life doing _everything_I can to save this god forsaken galaxy from imminent destruction. I've tried to warn anyone who would listen that the Reapers are coming. But of course, no one ever fucking believes me."

"I believe you," a deep voice stated calmly from behind her.

Shepard spun around. There stood James, tall and sharp in his Alliance uniform. She had to grab the back of a nearby chair to keep from losing her balance as she drank in the sight of him. He was dressed in a standard issue uniform. Her eyes traced his muscular body starting at his shin high combat boots, gliding up to his blue-grey camo cargo pants, and a wide black gun belt. The quarter length sleeves somehow made his muscular arms seem more defined. Just the tips of the intricately woven design of his tattoo where visible under the cuff of his right sleeve. Shepard swallowed at the lump in her throat. Her eyes traveled up this arm, tracing the path of the hidden tattoo. Only when he took in a breath could she see just the smallest peak of black ink over the high collar of the uniform. She watched the strong muscles in his neck flex as he swallowed. The nervous gesture jolted her. Her eyes shot up.

Everything around her went fuzzy as they locked eyes. In one frozen second a million unsaid words passed between them as they held each other's gaze. Shepard's thoughts raced and she was unable to make any coherent sense of it all. _It's you…how…why…this can't…I don't understand_.

James said nothing. It was taking all of his self control to keep his expression blank as he stared into the blue pools of her eyes. His thoughts pleaded with her. _Please accept me… I want to help you… let me be your shield. _

Shepard was pulled back to reality at the sound of Anderson's voice next to her.

"Commander, this is Lieutenant James Vega."

Shepard's heart sank as she watched James' eyes turn to stone. The wisps of familiarity disappeared as he snapped into a sharp salute, his face setting into a steely calm.

"Lieutenant this is Commander Anna Shepard."

Shepard hesitated only momentarily before she squared her shoulders and forced the Commander part of her to take over. She made a snap decision_. Be professional now, work out the rest of the shit later_. She returned James' salute, voiding her face of all emotion. Professionalism, regulation, business. She cleared her throat as she offered her hand.

"It's nice to meet you Lieutenant," she said in a deeply professional tone.

"Likewise," James dryly responded as he took her extended hand and firmly shook it. Both of them simultaneously fought against the spark that shot through them as their hands met. Shepard dropped the handshake and quickly crossed her arms behind her back. She glanced at Anderson. She was suddenly worried that the Captain would pick up on their silent exchanges. If he had, he wasn't letting on.

"Well it's been a hell of a long day for me," Anderson said as he looked at the two soldiers in front of him. "If you will excuse me, I'm going to get a couple hours of sleep before we arrive on Earth."

"Yes sir, of course," Shepard turned to him and nodded. It occurred to her that he probably hadn't slept since the night before the encounter on the Citadel. "Please let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you Shepard, I will." And with a parting nod to each of them, Anderson walked out of the Mess Hall and boarded the elevator, the doors closing with a beep behind him.

They stood in silence for a moment, not quite meeting each other's gaze. James opened his mouth to speak but Shepard cut him off.

"Welcome aboard Lieutenant. The crew quarters are just over there," she said pointing over his shoulder. "I'm sure you would like to get some sleep as well." She needed to get away from him. She wasn't prepared to deal with whatever it was that lay boiling just beneath the surface. "Now if you will excuse me I need to prepare for our arrival," Shepard took two long hurried steps past him before James caught her arm.

"Hey, wait a minute," he pleaded, his voice soft and tender. He didn't know why he had reached out for her and though he immediately regretted it, he found he was unable to pull his hand away from the familiar warmth of her skin.

She couldn't face him. She bit her lip and closed her eyes before gently tugging her arm free from his grasp.

"No," she whispered, still unable to look at him.

"You're right, I'm sorry."

She turned her head over her shoulder slightly, just enough so that James could see her downward cast gaze.

"So am I," she murmured softly before turning her head away and swiftly striding down the corridor into the port side lounge.

James let out the breath he was holding when he heard the doors to the lounge close. He slumped down in the nearest chair, letting his head fall back.

"This is loco," he grumbled. He tugged at the collar of his uniform, unfastening the top button. He had planned on being the epitome of professionalism. He had planned on keeping all of his emotions and desires buried deep inside. His mind raced with questions. How was it that just being alone with her had broken his resolve so quickly? Why had he reached for her? Her parting words echoed softly in his mind. _So am I_. She didn't sound angry with him, she had sounded…sad. What was it he was going to say to her? How could possibly make this fucked up situation any better? He hardly knew.

_Just do your job,_ James told himself as he pushed away from the table. Anderson trusted him, and he wasn't going to betray that trust. James walked out of the Mess Hall, towards the crew quarters_. May as well get some rest before we hit Earth and this whole shit storm really starts._


End file.
